I’m onto you. Registering for writing workshops online, your fingers sticky with candy. Teen Mom 2 on my LED-backlit display instead of words, your words. All the signs are there.
You’re afraid of your second novel.
There was something between us once, back when you were writing your first. You used to turn me on in the morning—before a shower, before cereal—and we would escape into the story. It was all fun and fantasy; there was no pressure but the weight of your imagination and fingertips.
I was with you through it all: the early drafts you swore were awful, the rejections, the never-ending revisions. And I was there for the good stuff, too, like when you landed an agent. Do you remember? My exclamation mark was on fire for you that day.
But then reality kicked in. The submission process was long and hard, and you’re not a patient person by nature. I can tell by the pace of your typing, the impulsiveness of your online shopping.
You let the doubt creep in; I know it. You’re afraid of giving your heart to a second story without feeling secure about the first. And you’re terrified of the time, the years that you’ll be investing in another novel that may never… that may never ever…
But enough is enough. You may not have a deal for your first book yet, but come on! You’re acting like a contract is a permission slip to write another!
I’m sorry; I got carried away. It’s just that, well, I miss you. I miss the feel of your touch against my sensitive keys, the way you hit “return” like you mean it. And I know you miss me, too.
You need to start writing again. Do it for us, for those early mornings when it was just you, me and coffee. You were always so careful not to spill. Don’t think I didn’t notice.
So sit down, here, at your desk. I’m powered up and ready.
I’ll even give you two minutes to watch the squirrels out the window. Look at them racing through the pines, leaping from branch to branch. You can be that free, too. Just put your hands on me, run your fingers over my keys, and write write write…
Emily Saso is a copywriter working hard to become a novelist. She lives, reads and writes in Toronto, Canada.