I’m floating in a most peculiar way, and the stars look very different today

I once told a literary agent that he was a rock star (he wasn’t)* and just the other day on her blog a writer called Betsy Lerner (who is a really fab literary agent, author and blogger)* a rock star, too. Now, as someone who is (hopefully)* on a trajectory to being an agent but who has never wanted to be a rock star, I asked myself, “Why do writers think agents are rock stars?”

Let’s look at the two species:

Rock stars — make music; go on tour; trash hotel rooms; wear crazy clothing or leather stuff; have their pictures in the trash mags; drink too much; marry models or Europeans or European models or are British; do heavy drugs; either OD, go to rehab or just hang around looking all skanky; write autobiographies about being rock stars, etc…

Literary agents — read manuscripts; negotiate deals; have coffee; read more manuscripts; edit manuscripts; drown in queries; drink too much; go to writing conferences; lurk on Twitter; do lunch; chase down royalty checks;  hang out in bookstores and fraternize with librarians, read more manuscripts, etc…

So, besides the cocktails, what do these two things have in common? I don’t get it.

(I might be lying about not wanting to be a rock star. Once, way back in the ’80s, I cut my hair just like David Bowie.)*

*WTF is with all the freakin’ parenthetical comments?! I’m annoying myself.


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5 responses to “I’m floating in a most peculiar way, and the stars look very different today

  1. I actually think with parenthesis. Talk about annoying. (very)

    And, what? No photo of the Bowie ‘do? Chicken.

  2. I can’t see what the two have in common myself other than that people get starry-eyed at the thought of attracting their attention.

    Personally, I’d rather be an agent. The only good thing about being a rock star is that if you ever DO write a book about your experiences, people are almost sure to buy and read it. And no matter how awful it is, somebody will definitely think it’s worthy of their attention.

  3. It’s either David Bowie or me (circa 1983). Although I’ve never been a red head, can’t play guitar and don’t have a package in my pants. And there I go again with the parenthesis! (parentheses?)

  4. I’m thinking it’s because they are hopeful that the “compliment” will get them noticed. I’ve been guilty of calling a fellow blogger a rock star… But she’s an amazing blogger. She has several books, but still manages to respond to questions via email to people she only knows through blogging.

    Is that a picture of David Bowie?